Back

The memories | Day 96 of my 2023 Journal

Cecilie Conrad·Apr 6, 2023

On the fourth day in Rome, we went to a Fleamarket and 2 of the significant churches.

After the last of the two churches, my brother-in-law commented: "I am not even sure why we do these things. I was in this church 12 years ago, and when I entered today, it was like I had never been there before."

A few days before we discussed literature, and some of the classics he read recently, I read 25 years ago and did not remember anything from the narrative.

So, why do we do the things we do?

Why do we travel to see churches we might forget?

Why do we read books that might fade from our memory?

Well. Because we are alive. Because the process of living, of leaning into the universe, touching the people we meet, absorbing from what is, adjusting to the immediate changes, or initiating them is what we do as humans.

The argument is the same as with newborn babies. Some might argue it does not matter if they cry for half an hour. They will forget anyway. Or if you lie a bit to your two-year-old, saying you were working while drinking coffee with a friend. They will never know, they say.

This is not true.

We all know intuitively we have to ease the frustration of the newborn. Nothing is more apparent to the human mind. The baby's cries call out for a response because life is what happens. Now. And because we take work us the vibe, the emotional quality, the essence of what happened.

The memories we can clearly present a few or a lot of years after the fact are not the same as the experience and the personal growth we take with us from all situations in life.

Our interaction with life is what defines us, what makes us who we are, and even if we do not remember the church or the novel, we did still absorb it, grow from it, and take it into our complex mosaic of existence.

So, yes: It is always worth it to ease pain, choose beauty, read novels, and stay present.

It is not about remembering.

It is about being and becoming. About nuances in our perceiving. About the quality of our presence.

memories-collage

Love and light

Cecilie-Underskrift-300x133

Cecilie Conrad

# 96 of my 2023 writing challenge - Read them all here

Unschooling and Parent consulting, conversations, blogposts, and podcasts on family life and learning

Hi, I'm Cecilie Conrad. I'm a trained psychologist, mother of four, radical unschooler and full-time traveller. I have lived with unschooling for over a decade and help other families find their own path – whether it is about homeschooling, unschooling, or the bigger question of how you want to live as a family.

I offer guidance, conversations and talks. I call my work grandmothering – not coaching in the traditional sense, but presence, professional insight and concrete help navigating motherhood and finding your way home to your own values.

Am I the right person to help you? You can book a free discovery call, and we'll talk and figure it out.

Listen to my podcasts

I share my knowledge and curiosity about family life and learning in my two podcasts.

Da Ladies - cover
self-directed-podcast

Read my latest blogposts

Montauban
In Finhan, where we live in February 2025, not much is happening. The church in the square strikes its hour, funnily enough, twice, so if you didn't …Read more
How did we end up in Scandinavia mid-winter, and why did we need to see that contrast? How life crashes suddenly, like hitting a tree on the side of …Read more
There is this saying about lemons: if life throws them at you, just make lemonade. But really?! To me, it sounds like bullshit. When life gives you l…Read more
Sometimes, we have to stay very clear and keep the spirit very open when the Universe is talking, and there is a delay in the translation. This is a …Read more
I often say that I love change and that I trust the process. But what about pain? When is it hard? What when I did not choose the change, did not wan…Read more
Do I even have time to journal when there are just nineteen minutes until the next podcast recording? I’ve just had a fascinating conversation with …Read more
When the difference between what you want the world to look like and how you perceive it is big enough, there will be pain.  There is no way a…Read more
Sometimes, I feel dwarfed by life, humbled, overwhelmed, confused, run over. I can fly for a long time, lean into love, and trust the process, and t…Read more
When I shop for food, I often grab a box in the veggies department instead of a basket. It's easy. When it is full, I am done. Yesterday, my husband…Read more