Sitting in a soft armchair in the early morning in Budapest, I think about how the Rolling Stones were right. How we don't always get what we want, but we always get what we need. And how — was it U2? — wrote: I gave you everything you ever wanted: it wasn't what you wanted.
When I was younger, I sometimes thought the first point was about scarcity. Now I know that is not the case. It seems what we need is a lot. It is overwhelming to a point I can hardly describe. How huge is the love for our children? How beautiful is the night sky? How delicious is it to grow? How powerful is friendship? What a miracle is life?
On top of this sweet, sweet setup are all the things that happen. All the contexts to rise to, tune into, play our part in — and also all the practicalities. The smallest details like soaking the chickpeas and the largest like navigating complexities, prioritizing life elements, learning fast, breathing deep, surrendering to trust.
It is a circular mindset situation. If we truly understand that we always get exactly what we need, there should be no need to surrender to trusting life as it is (since that was the premise), but somehow this surrender is an ongoing thing, like abs workouts. Like breathing.
I keep reminding myself, and sometimes I get very annoyed: I did not need the suffering! I shout back at this amazing life. I did not need it when rough stuff hit my loved ones! I need more SLEEP for crying out loud! And then I breathe and silently say to myself that the challenge is to aim for enlightenment, inner peace, leaning into love, and walking with love and light in all we do. Even when taking in chemotherapy, we need to trust. Even when someone dies, we need to trust. Even when we feel helpless in the suffering of others.
(Not that any of this happened recently — just clearing any worries.)
The other part — not wanting what we always thought we wanted — is way easier for me; it makes so much intuitive sense. It is part of the same reality. If Life with a big L (not to be confused with a magazine) always gives us exactly what we need, then our job is not to give orders and hold on to our ideas about how it all should be, but to receive, to allow, to appreciate, to be grateful, to take it in, to do our part.
The more intense life feels, the more on track we are. The more we need to do our best, the more we have to relax. The faster we need to work, the more we need to pause. The more important and serious things are, the more we need to smile and be at ease. These are interesting contrasting realities.
And if life seems rough — because it is rough, throwing challenges at us — we need to grow from there. We need to be grateful we get another chance to fulfill our purpose and become an even better version of ourselves.
I am not sure why I am writing this this morning. It fell from my fingers onto the keyboard and became words. The sun is making its way into the lounge, the city is silent for once. The chair, to be honest, is not very comfortable. The note I am writing right now might indicate that I am experiencing a lot of complex challenges, but I am not. I am just thinking about the complexities and mechanisms of life.
We are in Budapest attending another worldschool pop-up. The city is full of like-minded people, and maybe the city itself sparked this reflection on what life gives you and how to take it. How to trust it.
Budapest is everything. Beautiful and inspiring, international and deeply historical, with beautiful and interesting street art and masterpieces in the galleries, lovely walks to take, and a nightlife with most of the options humankind has come up with so far. There is wealth, tourism, capitalism, passion, creativity, poverty, desperation, addiction, and despair right outside our door all the time. Vibrational noise, you could call it. The intensity and bombardment of options and impressions clear out any impurity in priorities and force us to do the contrasting two: take it all as it is with all it is, while knowing exactly what part is for us, what path to walk, what to choose. Trusting the intensity to be the expanding element — just like on the body level: it is the shaking at the end of the exercise and the pain in the muscles showing you that your strength is growing; you are on track.
At the end of the day it is all about love. The hack is to never forget how we love living, and how living love will always be the best choice, the best life, the solution and the way.
So here we are. I would have loved to be able to share more frequently, honestly, but it is what it is. A new The Ladies podcast came out yesterday, and a new Self Directed will be recorded this morning, last week we shared one on why control always will fail you. I wrote quite a bit about Barcelona (this, this and this) only about half of the road trip and nothing on the time we spent in Vienna. Working on writing about youth and the internet is a big deal and takes time; keeping up with practicalities seems like a real challenge, and I have to surrender to trusting again.
"It is all good" is a good affirmation.
"It is all love" is even better.
Let me know if it resonates.
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