No matter the background, economic, religious, or cultural, teenage years are hard work. It is as wild as the first years of life when the baby becomes a toddler and travels from infant to someone who can walk and speak. Maybe even wilder.
I am not here to judge, though I am quite sure our culture of compulsory schooling and segregation of families play a central part in the scattering of young humans. I will share my observations:
When I met the teens at my first Child's school, back when I did not know about unschooling, I found her an alternative school with much respect for the children’s freedom, a self-directed school. When I first met the teens there, I knew the school was on track.
The way they carry themselves, the way they smile, the way they meet other people. Open-minded, respectful, yet not submissive. I knew their childhood had been laying out the base for walking through teen years with confidence and strength, trust in others to have their back, and all the hope needed for the future to come.
I see the same at HEFF, the home education festival, where groups of teens move around (yes, groups in plural!) in their wonderful grace of knowing they are loved, on track, and always okay. The beauty of their spirits, owning it, loving it, finding their way.
There is nothing wrong with teens, only the culture around them. Teens do not misbehave or act irresponsibly if they are confident and strong in their presence and relations. They will be respectful if they have been met with respect, and they will be responsible if they are listened to. This is my observation and personal experience.
And for the rest of it: Leave them be. Enjoy making their sandwiches and washing their clothes for a few more years. Do talk to them in the middle of the night, pay for their coffee and games and whatever, love them to pieces, and be interested in their lives. Before you know it, they fly, and everything changes. Plus: They do need it. They are busy growing, very busy growing.
Have space for that.
And don’t forget to let them sleep.
They need sleep. A lot of it.
Love and light
Cecilie Conrad
Thank you for reading
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