Cecilie Conrad logo - dark
Cecilie Conrad logo - light
⌘K
Blog Podcast Unschooling Parent consultant About me
bBlog
pPodcast
uUnschooling
pParent consultant
aAbout me
Back

Learning to the highest potential | Day 172 of my 2023 Journal

Cecilie Conrad·Jun 22, 2023

🇩🇰 Also available in Danish 🇩🇰

There is a concept I stumble upon often in the circles of home education, alternative lifestyle, self-directed life, and unschooling.

It is the idea of the highest potential. I find this concept find utterly distasteful.

You see, the idea of meeting your highest potential is extremely ambitious. And there are two major problems involved, plus a bonus one.

One is the idea that I myself want for ME to unfold my highest potential. This is a toxic idea that will lead to perfectionism, stress, and a non-present life running fast to achieve rather than be.

I, personally, could have had a sparkling career as a psychologist, I could have been enormously much better at playing my handpan, I could have learned ten languages fluently by now, I could have read all of the classics, I could have been 10 kilos smaller and a hundred percent stronger, I could have learned drawing skills and dancing skills and math and the history of everything - and that might not even BE my highest potential. But it would for sure be the end of me, the end of a wholehearted life in flow, full of intuition and love and spontaneity.

And that is bad enough.

But worse, much worse, is to impose this ambition on OTHERS, which is exactly what is going on with the alternative discourse. Adults want to set the scene for their (or others’) children to learn to their highest potential.

I simply hate the idea.

It is parental love, wanting to do THE BEST for the kids (which I understand) but, in the process, actually ruining it all by having such extreme expectations like good old stories where the hero, in his attempt to avoid his destiny, creates the disaster forecasted in the myth. It is also a derivate of a general problem I have talked about many times before The problem of choosing what we want among the hundreds of options. And it is very much a part of the consumeristic lifestyle, where the focus is on achieving, not on being.

You see, we have to choose what to do with our time. Consciously or not, we are closing a lot of doors all of the time, at least for the time being. If I chose to rest in Sweden, I chose at the same time NOT to practice on my instrument 2 hours a day. Now I have the time, and every time I choose to listen to a podcast in one of the two languages I speak fluently; I am turning down a learning opportunity in the five I speak so and so. When I chose to study the language of the country I am currently settled in at any given time, on a larger scale, I chose not to become proficient in one at the highest possible speed. When I chose to cook a meal, there are a hundred things I could have done instead.

Learning to choose how to unfold in the given context and time is one of the most important life skills, and I believe it is toxic to do it within a framework of expectations (from inside or outside) to meet our highest potential. Let's NOT do that. Let's decide on what is important and go for that seventy percent of the time, leaving a lot of space for unfocused rest, intuition, and the great “nothing.”

Let’s just be. Let be. Choose to be. And what to be. Remember, the “highest potential” of this life is to live it.

Love and light

Cecilie-Underskrift-300x133

Cecilie Conrad

🇩🇰 Also available in Danish 🇩🇰 

Thank you for reading
I would love to hear from you. Listen to your thoughts and reflections - or praise :) It is often emotional to share our life like this, and we get very happy when we get feedback from you. So feel free to share a comment below 😋 

Previous Leaving Sweden | Day 173 of my 2023 Journal
Next Mary Griffith | Unlocking Passions and Potential: The Power of Unschooling and Family Support

Comments

Write a comment...
00:00 Recording...

Unschooling and Parent consulting, conversations, blogposts, and podcasts on family life and learning

Hi, I'm Cecilie Conrad. I'm a trained psychologist, mother of four, radical unschooler and full-time traveller. I have lived with unschooling for over a decade and help other families find their own path – whether it is about homeschooling, unschooling, or the bigger question of how you want to live as a family.

I offer guidance, conversations and talks. I call my work grandmothering – not coaching in the traditional sense, but presence, professional insight and concrete help navigating motherhood and finding your way home to your own values.

Am I the right person to help you? You can book a free discovery call, and we'll talk and figure it out.

Unschooling & Parent Consultant
Grandmothering – not coaching. Read more here

Listen to my podcasts

I share my knowledge and curiosity about family life and learning in my two podcasts.

Listen here
Listen here

Read my latest blogposts

MOR International - Journaling December 2nd 2024
When I shop for food, I often grab a box in the veggies department instead of a basket. It's easy. When it is full, I am done. Yesterday, my husband…Read more
Is time really flying? Krakow November 2024
Walking back home through Krakow one last time, I contemplate the concept of time and whether it is flying. I carry a liter of laundry detergent fro…Read more
Welcome to Europe, Gypsie - Catalonia May 2024
Welcome to Europe, Gypsie The first morning after seven months in Mexico and the USA, I woke up in my van somewhere on Montserrat Mountain. The w…Read more
Will it Ever be Enough?
When we arrived to the big house at Baja, we had to kick ourselves hard to remember how great this is - even when the temperatures are about 10 degre…Read more
First Transit of the Year
We were excited about going to the next place. As always, of course, but this time, we would finally meet again with friends from the castle experie…Read more
Evaluation Mood - a New Year State of Mind
Do you also want to evaluate at the edge of the new year? I want the statistics: How many museums, how many cities, how many beach days, where did we…Read more
Transit from La Paz to Tijuana | Day 363 of my 2023 Journal
Arriving in Tijuana. The most overwhelming thing was the wall. Oh, my good. I have to say it. It is crazy. Cra. Zy. Double metal fence construction o…Read more
A much needed pause from being tourists| Day 362 of my 2023 Journal
We canceled the plan to go out on the ocean to swim with the big fish because we are exhausted from being "the tourists with the dollars," paying and…Read more
Stuck in the desert | Day 361 of my 2023 Journal
We needed to buy gasoline halfway through our trip and arrived at a gas station that was out of electricity. Therefore, they could not pump the gasol…Read more
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 … 47 48 49 Next
MOR International - Journaling December 2nd 2024
When I shop for food, I often grab a box in the veggies department instead of a basket. It's easy. When it is full, I am done. Yesterday, my husband…Read more
Is time really flying? Krakow November 2024
Walking back home through Krakow one last time, I contemplate the concept of time and whether it is flying. I carry a liter of laundry detergent fro…Read more
Welcome to Europe, Gypsie - Catalonia May 2024
Welcome to Europe, Gypsie The first morning after seven months in Mexico and the USA, I woke up in my van somewhere on Montserrat Mountain. The w…Read more
Will it Ever be Enough?
When we arrived to the big house at Baja, we had to kick ourselves hard to remember how great this is - even when the temperatures are about 10 degre…Read more
First Transit of the Year
We were excited about going to the next place. As always, of course, but this time, we would finally meet again with friends from the castle experie…Read more
Evaluation Mood - a New Year State of Mind
Do you also want to evaluate at the edge of the new year? I want the statistics: How many museums, how many cities, how many beach days, where did we…Read more
Transit from La Paz to Tijuana | Day 363 of my 2023 Journal
Arriving in Tijuana. The most overwhelming thing was the wall. Oh, my good. I have to say it. It is crazy. Cra. Zy. Double metal fence construction o…Read more
A much needed pause from being tourists| Day 362 of my 2023 Journal
We canceled the plan to go out on the ocean to swim with the big fish because we are exhausted from being "the tourists with the dollars," paying and…Read more
Stuck in the desert | Day 361 of my 2023 Journal
We needed to buy gasoline halfway through our trip and arrived at a gas station that was out of electricity. Therefore, they could not pump the gasol…Read more
Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 … 47 48 49 Next
See all my blogposts
Cecilie Conrad logo - dark
Cecilie Conrad logo - light
Blog
All my blogposts Unschooling 365 Days Challenge 2023
Podcast
The Ladies Fixing the World Self Directed
About me
My story - Cecilie Conrad Stay Updated: Get my Newsletter Visit my danish site CecilieConrad.dk
Consulting
Parent and unschooling support Free Discovery Call - Text me on WhatsApp Testimonials: What Others Say Prices and payment options