Mothering | Day 167 of my 2023 Journal

It never stops being a mother. It never stops the need for a mother. I lost mine four years ago, and I feel it.

Yesterday, I had the privilege of mothering my adult child. I spent two hours in the grass under the sun, cuddling and talking about life. I got to cook for her, draw with her, and read books alongside her. We walked the forest, all six of us, just like when they were small, the children.

We were looking at beetles, plants, a single snake, the birds, and each other. Late in the evening, her wonderful partner arrived; we played some more Beat Saber, had a sip of wine, and sat around the table until we could not hold it together.

It is such a privilege to get to spend time with the children. All moments we get to spend with our children are precious; as Lucas Graham beautifully puts it: "Every day I spent with you was the best day of my life." This line moves me close to tears. The truth there is so deep.

This is one thing I do not understand about modern parents. It seems they can’t get away from their children fast enough; it seems all they talk about is how annoying, misbehaved, noisy, and messy the kids are. They (the adults) whine about the chores that accompany parenthood and the losses of time, money, silence, and freedom - and I don’t get it.

Having someone to love, especially spouses and children, is THE most precious thing there is. Next in line is friends. Death bed regrets studies state it clearly, and so does the longest study on human thriving (The Harvard Study of Adult Development); life is all about deep and meaningful relations. It is THE key.

So why all the complaining?

I am afraid our common Western culture is ripping apart something that needs to stay close and that this severe damage to primary relations is the base reason for the crumbling of not just human thriving but also the thriving of our planet.

I find every moment I get to spend with someone I love, first and foremost my husband and children, are the most important moments of my life.

All of them.

Love and light

Cecilie Conrad

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Thank you for reading
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