Back

Learning to the highest potential | Day 172 of my 2023 Journal

Cecilie Conrad·Jun 22, 2023· 4 minutes

🇩🇰 Also available in Danish 🇩🇰

There is a concept I stumble upon often in the circles of home education, alternative lifestyle, self-directed life, and unschooling.

It is the idea of the highest potential. I find this concept find utterly distasteful.

You see, the idea of meeting your highest potential is extremely ambitious. And there are two major problems involved, plus a bonus one.

One is the idea that I myself want for ME to unfold my highest potential. This is a toxic idea that will lead to perfectionism, stress, and a non-present life running fast to achieve rather than be.

I, personally, could have had a sparkling career as a psychologist, I could have been enormously much better at playing my handpan, I could have learned ten languages fluently by now, I could have read all of the classics, I could have been 10 kilos smaller and a hundred percent stronger, I could have learned drawing skills and dancing skills and math and the history of everything - and that might not even BE my highest potential. But it would for sure be the end of me, the end of a wholehearted life in flow, full of intuition and love and spontaneity.

And that is bad enough.

But worse, much worse, is to impose this ambition on OTHERS, which is exactly what is going on with the alternative discourse. Adults want to set the scene for their (or others’) children to learn to their highest potential.

I simply hate the idea.

It is parental love, wanting to do THE BEST for the kids (which I understand) but, in the process, actually ruining it all by having such extreme expectations like good old stories where the hero, in his attempt to avoid his destiny, creates the disaster forecasted in the myth. It is also a derivate of a general problem I have talked about many times before The problem of choosing what we want among the hundreds of options. And it is very much a part of the consumeristic lifestyle, where the focus is on achieving, not on being.

You see, we have to choose what to do with our time. Consciously or not, we are closing a lot of doors all of the time, at least for the time being. If I chose to rest in Sweden, I chose at the same time NOT to practice on my instrument 2 hours a day. Now I have the time, and every time I choose to listen to a podcast in one of the two languages I speak fluently; I am turning down a learning opportunity in the five I speak so and so. When I chose to study the language of the country I am currently settled in at any given time, on a larger scale, I chose not to become proficient in one at the highest possible speed. When I chose to cook a meal, there are a hundred things I could have done instead.

Learning to choose how to unfold in the given context and time is one of the most important life skills, and I believe it is toxic to do it within a framework of expectations (from inside or outside) to meet our highest potential. Let's NOT do that. Let's decide on what is important and go for that seventy percent of the time, leaving a lot of space for unfocused rest, intuition, and the great “nothing.”

Let’s just be. Let be. Choose to be. And what to be. Remember, the “highest potential” of this life is to live it.

Love and light

Cecilie-Underskrift-300x133

Cecilie Conrad

🇩🇰 Also available in Danish 🇩🇰 

Thank you for reading
I would love to hear from you. Listen to your thoughts and reflections - or praise :) It is often emotional to share our life like this, and we get very happy when we get feedback from you. So feel free to share a comment below 😋 

One advantage of living in a van is the number of things that need fixing/maintenance is much smaller compared to living in a house. Another advantag…Read more
This is a general warning for everyone who loves Shakespeare. For everyone who loves literature. Maybe for everyone in general. Do not visit Juliet's…Read more
It is sometimes emotionally complicated to stop. I remember someone said: “Vacation is doing something you are not usually doing.” Now we do not do v…Read more
Personal freedom is about waking up with loads of options, but more importantly, about having the courage to choose between options and knowing what …Read more
Before we went to Venice, I almost booked a place to stay in Murano, not Venice. It looked almost the same. From Venice, you take the public boat and…Read more
Why do we do what we do? It is obvious that traveling is an adventure and from the outside, it looks like a lot of vacation. The first part is right,…Read more
The feel of Venice is closely connected to walking. The experience of walking between houses, alongside canals, over bridges, over piazzas (and repea…Read more
It is funny how walking from Dorsodura, where we live, to the Saint Mark Basilica is a journey from a good tourist experience to something like hell.…Read more
Ten years ago, we visited Venice for the first time. Our youngest son was just a little one, my hair was still short after cancer, and I still had m…Read more