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Our bus broke down: Learning to stay calm and move on

Cecilie Conrad·Sep 30, 2018

Learning to stay calm and move on … is the major lesson this week, I think. When we drove the bus the 100 km North to visit our unschooling friends in Gilleleje, the bus broke down a bit again.

There is something about our worries and reactions and the whole situation when this bus has challenges. We, the adults, get very worried and find it hard to sleep. My reaction is instant; my husband gets the same after he acts. He has this amazing gear: When all seems chaotic, and he is afraid or feels a hint of panic, he will always look rationally at the situation and say: “We can only control what we can control, but we need to control the things we can, so … What can I control, what actions can I take." – and then do all he can. Only after that, when he has taken control of the things he can and taken the actions possible – Then he will start shaking.

With a little help from my friends

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The story, this time, is parallel to the first. Helping hands were near; our friend and a neighbor troubleshooted, and within two days, the bus was fixed again. What a waste of good mental energy to be so sad when it broke. I believe we learned it this time.

In the meanwhile, we got to spend time at this wonderful farm, where amazing people are building an edible forest, growing food in the good old style in the garden, unschooling their children, and building a house. Spending time with like-minded is what we aim for, and here we feel welcome. It seems another lesson this week is one we learned before That we have the ability to feel good wherever we go and feel at home as long as the vibe and the people around us are wonderful. And at Damgaard in Gilleleje, they certainly are.

Farmers for a while, growing with responsibility

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Our friends had a 4-day trip planned when we landed at their farm, and our need to stay longer than originally planned matched perfectly a need to house-sit the farm. Our children got the responsibility of taking care of cats, geese, chickens and ducks. Doing this was wonderfully meaningful and fun, and the most challenging part was getting up early. We are nightbirds, so getting up with the sun to let out the geese made them very tired, and Sunday night they were happy to know they could again sleep as long as they wanted. The joy of spending time with the animals was worth it all, of course, and we were grateful to get this win-win opportunity to give a helping hand.

Fitting the bus and fitting us into the buslife

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The pictures of this part are scarce. I am tired of taking pictures of construction. But in Denmark, the last week of September, we just had to realize being cold is the worst. So we bought a fire-burning stove and put a lot of thought into how to fit it into the bus. We also had to realize our mattresses were too low quality and spent a whole day driving to IKEA to get higher quality and buying hangers, doormats, and other practical stuff. Another need was woolen underwear to battle the cold. We are becoming increasingly tired of fitting, building, and moving stuff around, but it is part of the conversion of life in a 200 m2 apartment to life in a 21 m2 bus.

We need some peace and quiet, some walks in forests, and day trips to museums. In that light, it is a very good perspective that the next stop is Paris.

Peace and love

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Cecilie Conrad

It is my core value to share, be honest, and dare to be vulnerable. I am grateful you are reading my blog, and I would be even more grateful if you comment, send me an email, or otherwise engage. Thank you.

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Unschooling and Parent consulting, conversations, blogposts, and podcasts on family life and learning

Hi, I'm Cecilie Conrad. I'm a trained psychologist, mother of four, radical unschooler and full-time traveller. I have lived with unschooling for over a decade and help other families find their own path – whether it is about homeschooling, unschooling, or the bigger question of how you want to live as a family.

I offer guidance, conversations and talks. I call my work grandmothering – not coaching in the traditional sense, but presence, professional insight and concrete help navigating motherhood and finding your way home to your own values.

Am I the right person to help you? You can book a free discovery call, and we'll talk and figure it out.

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