Cecilie Conrad logo - dark
Cecilie Conrad logo - light
⌘K
Blog Podcast Unschooling Parent consultant About me
bBlog
pPodcast
uUnschooling
pParent consultant
aAbout me
Back

Consequences are consequences. Punishment is punishment. Wanted: "Freedom to choose"

Cecilie Conrad·Mar 17, 2014

 Do we need consequences and punishment in schools? Do we even need schools?

Currently, "The Case of Casper" is making headlines, as he had to run around the schoolyard in freezing weather instead of participating in gym class because he had forgotten his gym clothes. The school defends its policy, the psychologist Niels Egelund defends the methodology and welcomes it, but thankfully the headlines are shocked.

But what's up and down in this?

Can you skip gym class because you forget your gym clothes? Shouldn't there be consequences? Isn't the school allowed to introduce some rules? Are we not allowed to be a bit forgetful? Can we all be here? And how can we collaborate on this?

You see, the difficulty is, first and foremost, structural. Choosing a different school than the local public school or opting out of school altogether is not an option for most people. Not within reach, at least not without significant reordering. I will be the first to say that such reordering should be made if it reflects a value system that one holds - because integrity is still more important than most things.

But that doesn't mean I can't see how locked this system is in reality.

That's why the big problem with public schools, with forgotten gym bags and punishment or not, is the lack of voluntariness.

That is THE biggest problem. If school was voluntary, you could participate in it if you wanted to. And your parents wanted you to, as most parents determine what their children do during the day (while the parents do something else). It would only require that after-school care be open all day. Not really structurally difficult.

I'm not saying that this would be a GOOD system. But it would be better, as the element of freedom would creep in. And that is sorely lacking in the existing school system. Both for students and teachers. Even for leaders.

The big problem with the discourse surrounding the gym bag is the discourse surrounding consequences. Should forgetting your gym clothes have consequences? Adults assume that if there are no consequences, children will do it just to get out of it.

My thoughts: Yes.

But not if they were in school because they wanted to be there. Then there would be the consequence that naturally lies in the situation, that you didn't have your gym clothes! AND therefore had to do gym class in jeans or skip it. There IS a consequence. You don't actually have to invent one.

That is the big problem with the thinking behind consequence-based education at all levels.

It's not really about consequences. It's about power. I's about the fundamental coercion built into the system, and the so-called "consequences," which in reality are clear punishment, are used to establish this power.

The adults decide! Do as you're told!

And it goes wrong when the parents who send their children to school do not want to collaborate on this power because they disagree with it while also experiencing a lack of freedom themselves. Then the parents' lack of desire to collaborate becomes, in reality, a rebellion against the coercion that forced them to choose between ONE option. And from that follows an even greater need on the part of the school to establish power, to administer punishment.

Thus, I understand why a supporter of old-school education like Niels Egelund welcomes these "consequences." Because their absence threatens the system he holds so dear...

Cecilie-Underskrift-300x133

Cecilie Conrad


Originally published in Danish - Read the Danish blog post here.

Previous City of Love - Our Road Trip to Paris: Living in the Moment and Loving It
Next How we homeschool - Systemic Chaos

Comments

Write a comment...
00:00 Recording...

Unschooling and Parent consulting, conversations, blogposts, and podcasts on family life and learning

Hi, I'm Cecilie Conrad. I'm a trained psychologist, mother of four, radical unschooler and full-time traveller. I have lived with unschooling for over a decade and help other families find their own path – whether it is about homeschooling, unschooling, or the bigger question of how you want to live as a family.

I offer guidance, conversations and talks. I call my work grandmothering – not coaching in the traditional sense, but presence, professional insight and concrete help navigating motherhood and finding your way home to your own values.

Am I the right person to help you? You can book a free discovery call, and we'll talk and figure it out.

Unschooling & Parent Consultant
Grandmothering – not coaching. Read more here

Listen to my podcasts

I share my knowledge and curiosity about family life and learning in my two podcasts.

Listen here
Listen here

Read my latest blogposts

The Nomadic Choice - Our Unschooling Journey from a House to a Bus
Why would you leave a perfectly happy life to move into a bus and go travel full time? Welcome to our story, our core values, our reflections, and ou…Read more
Mi casa es tu casa - Our Transformational Journey Living with Strangers in Gran Canaria
My family and I dared to say 'Yes' to an extraordinary adventure—moving in with a family we'd never met in Gran Canaria. From overcoming fears to spi…Read more
Digital nomad - the money question
How did we make it happen? This is the all times most asked question, we get. Read on to get insight into our experiences around the money question. …Read more
Trusting the path
Walking with faith, listening to the ways of God, the ways of the Universe, believing the miracles, and embracing even the complications. We learn ev…Read more
Entering Catalonia: Trust, Courage, and Beauty on Our Nomadic Path
Dive into our week of nomadic exploration, filled with unexpected detours, artistic inspirations, and heartwarming encounters. From the scenic Pyrene…Read more
A Week by the Mediterranean: Amazing nature, old ruins, salt culture, birds & ocean
From fixing bike racks to witnessing flamingos in the wild, we navigate the intricacies of bus life while embracing the serenity and surprises of our…Read more
Buslife - The beginning: Our first week on the road
This gallery is about the week when we started driving in the bus, going south, and learning to live in the bus as we moved around. Read more
Our bus broke down: Learning to stay calm and move on
When we drove the bus the 100 km North to visit our unschooling friends in Gilleleje, the bus broke down a bit again and we became organic farmers fo…Read more
Nomadic reflections - Flying back from Malaga
We have been full-time travelers for almost three months, seven weeks of which were preparation: Clearing out our home in Copenhagen, converting the …Read more
Previous 1 2 3 … 44 45 46 47 48 49 Next
The Nomadic Choice - Our Unschooling Journey from a House to a Bus
Why would you leave a perfectly happy life to move into a bus and go travel full time? Welcome to our story, our core values, our reflections, and ou…Read more
Mi casa es tu casa - Our Transformational Journey Living with Strangers in Gran Canaria
My family and I dared to say 'Yes' to an extraordinary adventure—moving in with a family we'd never met in Gran Canaria. From overcoming fears to spi…Read more
Digital nomad - the money question
How did we make it happen? This is the all times most asked question, we get. Read on to get insight into our experiences around the money question. …Read more
Trusting the path
Walking with faith, listening to the ways of God, the ways of the Universe, believing the miracles, and embracing even the complications. We learn ev…Read more
Entering Catalonia: Trust, Courage, and Beauty on Our Nomadic Path
Dive into our week of nomadic exploration, filled with unexpected detours, artistic inspirations, and heartwarming encounters. From the scenic Pyrene…Read more
A Week by the Mediterranean: Amazing nature, old ruins, salt culture, birds & ocean
From fixing bike racks to witnessing flamingos in the wild, we navigate the intricacies of bus life while embracing the serenity and surprises of our…Read more
Buslife - The beginning: Our first week on the road
This gallery is about the week when we started driving in the bus, going south, and learning to live in the bus as we moved around. Read more
Our bus broke down: Learning to stay calm and move on
When we drove the bus the 100 km North to visit our unschooling friends in Gilleleje, the bus broke down a bit again and we became organic farmers fo…Read more
Nomadic reflections - Flying back from Malaga
We have been full-time travelers for almost three months, seven weeks of which were preparation: Clearing out our home in Copenhagen, converting the …Read more
Previous 1 2 3 … 44 45 46 47 48 49 Next
See all my blogposts
Cecilie Conrad logo - dark
Cecilie Conrad logo - light
Blog
All my blogposts Unschooling 365 Days Challenge 2023
Podcast
The Ladies Fixing the World Self Directed
About me
My story - Cecilie Conrad Stay Updated: Get my Newsletter Visit my danish site CecilieConrad.dk
Consulting
Parent and unschooling support Free Discovery Call - Text me on WhatsApp Testimonials: What Others Say Prices and payment options