Unpacking and unlearning our fears and hidden agendas is most of the work of unschooling parents.
For sure, it is so much easier to unschool a child who loves to develop handwriting, learn languages, play musical instruments, and study the history of the world. In contrast, a child who loves to watch Japanese anime, chill on the sofa, joke around, and play games is a real challenge for most adults.
Do we just let them do “nothing”?
Here is the rub!
The idea of “something” vs. “nothing” is off, and we need to let go of it.
If a child wants to do an activity, obviously, it has something important. Nobody wants to be bored, and if you are not bored, there is something there.
We don’t judge a child who builds a tower of bricks to see it fall 50 times a day; somehow, we all agree and understand that toddler needs this, but we do judge older children when they do “nothing.”
But how can we know?
And to be honest: I don’t see the point of golfing and fishing and of spending time at the hairdresser and reading the newspaper. Lots of stuff other adults do seems a complete waste of time to me, yet I respect their freedom of choice and that, to them, it is important.
Why do we not have the same respect for our children?
Because the cultural stream we are part of tells us that children are sinful and wrong and make bad choices, and we have to teach and discipline them into good human beings. This cultural code is so incorrect, and most people disagree with it. Yet they believe they have to control the children with screen time, chores, mandatory stuff, and judgment.
Digging out the respect for the children from all the crazy cultural layers and reconnecting with kindness and love is the most radical thing we can do as parents.
So, let’s do exactly that.
Love and light
Cecilie Conrad
# 128 of my 2023 writing challenge - Read them all here
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