My grandmother on my father's side had five children. When I grew up, she lived in Bruxelles while I lived in Copenhagen, but we were close anyway. She was a special one. She was born in Sweden and left an upper-class life to marry my Danish grandfather, the love of her life and a simple soldier. Like in a fairy tale.
She was the only one in the family never to question my choice when I had a child all on my own at age 23. She said: You will never regret it. Go ahead and follow your heart. She was still expecting grandchildren, not great-grandchildren. She was not ready for it. That did not matter.
Everyone else eventually came around. But she was The Strong One. From the beginning.
When my daughter was born, she came to visit on my birthday four days later. She lived at that time on the other end of the country and had planned to go whether the child was born or not. Hoping it was.
She sat down, looking at the child, her first great-grandchild.
“It is a miracle. Every time” was her exact words.
Every time I am touched by another child born in our circles, I feel her, I hear her voice, and I know this to be a deep truth.
This particular girl, Nova, is the third child of my cousin Anna (who is more like a sister to me). We all held our breaths deeply and our tears back when she was coming. As the days of pregnancy piled up, we began to hope, pray, and believe. Thick voices, sleepless nights, black moments of heavy memories.
I have to share it. I don’t know how to, so I will go ahead and do it: Anna lost her first child a few hours before she was born. We all lost Elna, the little miracle who never had a chance to breathe. It was a tremendous tragedy five years ago, so we were all scared sh*tless waiting for this baby.
For no reason. No obvious risk except for the Big One. The fact, it is a miracle. Every time.
There were tears, we fell to our knees, and the relief was huge. Nova was born sound and safe. We welcome her with all that we are, all we have. Deeply moved by the miracle and forever thankful for the life we have been given.
Love and light
Cecilie Conrad
# 140 of my 2023 writing challenge - Read them all here
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