Do you keep track of things?
I keep losing my streak, mixing up dates, forgetting dates, and falling behind. My intention with the 365 challenge was to keep track of things, get some headspace, be able to look back, and not mix things up. And here we go again. Life is complicated, a mix of so many elements, inter-related, non-compatible, complex, contradictory - so a simple quest of choosing one photo and combining it with a few describing journal style words each day, keeping count of the days is just too f**** impossible for me.
To be fair, I often lose track. I don’t know what day it is. What year it is. How old I am. Lately, I don’t even know what season it is. From mid-January to the end of June, it was spring; then suddenly, it was summer for five weeks before it was autumn the entire time we spent in England with rain and temperatures under 20. Who can keep track?!
So - I forgot my anniversary again. When my Google calendar told me it was my wedding day, I spent about 20 minutes calculating in perfect, chaotic unison with my husband how many years we had been married?! Writing this text two weeks later, I forgot again. Sixteen maybe?
Don’t get me wrong. I love to be married. I found the right guy, and I love to be married to him. I seem to get absorbed in the Moment as if it was everything.
Wait, I think it is.
It is.
And this is how sixteen years (or so) can fly by; this is how Monday morning blends with Saturday afternoon; this is how slow walks mix with late nights; this is how I never know how many nights we stayed in how many countries or how many books I read this year or what day it is.
Funny enough, I usually know what time it is. I wonder why? Because it is now?
With love
Cecilie Conrad
Thank you for reading
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